As a father I’m constantly searching for the balance between helping my son and holding him back. I was brought up to work hard and overcome challenges. It gave me a belief that I could control my life instead of expecting others to control it for me. Though I don’t feel I have all the answers and it’s not just me bringing my son up.
An article I came across Please don’t help my kids perfectly describes my approach to parenting. I don’t want to wait until later to start teaching him about life. The lessons start from birth. This is my way to teach him. I can’t say it’s perfect but I can say that it allows me to get on with my life while he gets on with his. We share all sorts but we also have independence and value it.
It seems healthy to me because taking care of my son doesn’t prevent me doing all the other things that need to get done. I know he will copy what I do because we all copy our parents, often without realising. I still overcome the challenges in my life while I take care of him. I feel that’s a better example than dropping everything in my life to focus on him and taking away his opportunity to learn for himself.
When my son is 18 he will be liable for his mistakes. He won’t be protected by me or the school any more. So I am starting the path towards independence early. So that he can practice life before he really becomes responsible for it.
Further reading
This article shows that we are how we grow and that parents and environments can scaffold growth. So it really matters throughout life than we learn the consistent impacts of the moments during life.
- Want to Raise Successful Children? Make Sure They Learn This All-Important Life Skill The earlier you start teaching emotional regulation , the better.